Journal Time!

Elision Rectified, or Again, Hello | August 11, 2023

Hi there. It's been a loooong while. So much has changed. So much.

Where to even start? Well, somewhere, I suppose, and this was meant to be a stream-of-consciousness type deal. So... hmm. Well, I have more than one foot into the college boat already. God, that's scary to think about. Everything will be so different. Yeah I know, very original, but the fear is still there! What to do. What ever to do.

Oh yeah, I'm with a boy now. He's nice. Very nice. A little rough around the feely parts, given his Minnesota nice milieu clamping down on any sort of emotional maturation, but still, I love him. He loves me, too. Crazy, I know. I don't dwell on it too much because I can't understand it, really. I'm working on that, though! I'm working on lotsa things, I suppose.

Aaaand, I have a neocities site now. I mean, I'm only a month or so into thinking I'm nonbinary. It felt only right, you know? This is where all them enbies and trans pals hang out. I think. I don't know, I'm trying to be relevant, alright? But more than that, I like having something to do again. It's so boring being shiftless all the damn time. Gotta shake it up. Somehow.

From here, I'm not sure where to go. I'm talking both about the site, and myself. I'm not sure where I'm going. But I think it's forward? Or maybe it's behind me. Or maybe it's in circles for a while to build up enough momentum to get to that goalpost waaay on the other side of this huge ravine. Yeah. Cool imagery. But I just, I don't know.

I'm a little happier now, at least. Things get rough every now and then but I'm getting better. It's tiring work, getting better. Sometimes it feels like none of this is here to last. Everything feels so transient. And yet, here I am, still. Who decides such things?

It's still something, anything. Anything that's worth betting on. Anything that'll get you going in the morning, and the evening, and every other time. I'm still searching for reason to be, but at least I'm not floundering for it. I think there's still a life yet to be lived by me. I can't wait to find out.

I CARE SO MUCH MAN IT'S UNBELIEVABLE HOW MUCH I LOVE PEOPLE I THINK ABOUT THEM EVERYDAY IT'S A CURSE AND I JUST WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD STOP HATING EACH OTHER BASED ON STUPID SHIT LIKE BACKGROUNDS AND SKIN COLOR DRESS IN CLOTHES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL PRETTY AND CONFIDENT NEVER LISTEN TO ANYONE WHO ISN'T FEELING YOUR VIBE ALWAYS STOP TO LOOK AT THE FLOWERS AND LOVE WHO OR WHAT YOU WANT TO LOVE NO MATTER WHAT BRO PEACE OUT

- Care album cover, TEMPOREX