Journal Time!

Social Isolation | April 2, 2023

That's the word! I finally found out what it was. Goodness, I have a lot left to learn about what I'm going through.

This is why I feel so lonely. Loneliness isn't about literally having no-one to talk to; it's about having people you can talk to but don't. If you physically do not go to where people are, then you are physically isolated. Socially isolated.

This isn't my fault, really. At least, it isn't fully my fault, or even mostly. I had to go through a long pandemic period, where I lost my girlfriend and contact with most everyone in real life. I contracted Crohn's disease, a condition I don't really like to talk about even now because I fear it will draw people's pity, change how they treat me. I've never had the highest self-esteem to begin with, which only makes everything else worse.

So, what do I do now? How do I get out of this?

I don't really want people's help. I want to fix myself, by myself.

I'm sick of looking and feeling weak. I want to be strong.

I want to be presentable, before I go back out there.

Buddy, are you still there? I just don't know. It seems like you're trying to speak...

- Negan, The Walking Dead